There are things that I wish I hadn’t done
when I was groggily going through a break up. The 8 months that I was
navigating through my own heartbreak has been really educational to say the
least. I would not wish for anybody to feel how I felt during those 8 months
and I think sharing what I learned during that bleak and awful time in my life
is a way to help those who are going through the same thing right now to not do the same mistakes I did.
1. Do Not Listen to Death Cab for Cutie For Goodness
Sake.
So I figured out that Death Cab has some
seriously dead on lyrics. The problem was I figured it out while I was in
misery and going through a messy break up. And oh my god, I was almost suicidal
(I said almost, not that I would even really consider suicide), while I lay in
bed crying and I listen to DCFC for most of the day. Even now that it’s been
two years since that “event” happened, I still feel sad whenever I listen to
DCFC. So for goodness sake, do not under any circumstance listen to Death Cab
while you are dealing with a heartache, specially their We Have The Facts and
We’re Voting Yes album. Because even though I have love this band ever since I
listened to their songs, their songs did not help me in getting over my ex. The
songs became a sort of salt being rubbed on my wounds and who wants that,
right?
2. Do Not Drown Your Misery with Alcohol.
Yatty yatty yah, alcohol never helps, yatty
yatty yah. Yes you probably already heard this a thousand times before. Alcohol
is never going to get you out of that funk you’re in during a heartbreak. Au
contraire, it sometimes adds up to the craziness. You start texting your ex,
and this text messages will range from angry, pleading to desperate. It will
never make you feel better and in the morning you feel messier than you already
are as the onslaught of hangover kicks you right in the gut. And so let me
repeat this overused phrase one more time in case you didn’t get it the first
time. Alcohol never helps!
3. Do Not Ever Contact Your Ex. Specially if
They’re The One that Broke Up with You.
I was such a mess after my ex broke up with
me that three days after we broke up, I was texting him like crazy. I would
flood him with text messages until I get a reply. It still makes me cringe
whenever I remember that and I highly suggest that you stay away from
contacting your ex for a while after a break up. Texting your ex won’t bring
him/her back. There is a reason they broke up with you and it does not matter
what those reasons may be, because when someone wants you out of their life, it
basically means that the love that once was there is gone or has diminish and
you need to get out or else it would be more painful in the long run if you
stay and push yourself on them even when everything they seem to be doing is to
get away from you.
4. Do Not Try to Date Immediately After
Breaking Up.
You think you’re ready to get out there a
week after breaking up, but you are not. I actually got to dating someone new
after eight months of being not in a relationship, but I still think I was not
that ready to date at that time. I should’ve taken my time to sort out every
emotion I still kept around at that time. Although the one I dated eight months
after my messy break up is still the one I am dating today (and that was two
years ago by the way), I still think that I should have waited. I should’ve
fixed myself. Learned to love myself, without the help of another person. And
should’ve enjoyed being single after five years of being in a relationship. So
I tell you now, do not rush into another relationship just because you think it
will make you move on faster. Instead, try to use this time to learn new things
about yourself and try to live life independently.
5. Do Not Be Bitter.
The one thing that I constantly told myself
during those eight miserable months was, I won’t be bitter. I still wanted to
believe that love does exist and that not all men are like my ex. Whenever I
felt the slightest bit bitter, I think about all the other couples I know that
are still together despite all the problems that has gone through their
relationships. Because being bitter won’t make you feel any better you know.
All being bitter would ever achieve is to disillusion you and make you scared
to try again. You will get out of that black hole and being bitter is not going
to help you get out but rather it will keep you in.
6. Do Not Kick Yourself Over Every Stupid Thing
You Do While Your Heart is Broken.
I gave myself too much of a hard time
whenever I remember fleeting moments of the embarrassing things I did while I
was out drinking my sorrows away. But now that I am so over those embarrassing
moments, let me tell you that it’s ok. Everyone is allowed to have stupid
moments when your heart is broken. Just keep it to a minimum if you still want
to live in the same city, ok. Don’t punish yourself too much. You already have
your heart broken, don’t break yourself over one silly night. After all, you
aren’t the first person to go crazy when they got their heart broken you know.
7. Do Not Regret Dating Your Ex.
I know that the first thing you will feel
when someone broke up with you is you regret ever meeting him/her. You regret
that you even ever let him/her into your supposedly peaceful life. But you know
what, the regret actually does not help you look forward to a brighter
tomorrow. Instead, it holds you down and brings all the negativity into the
surface even if you know for a fact that your relationship with your ex wasn’t really
that much ugly you know. There was a reason you were together and you
had something magical that made you connect in the first place. There will always be positive things that came out of
your being together and it may be as little as getting to love a certain band
that you did not care for before but got to liking because of that ex. Or you
learned to cook a certain dish because of your ex. Do not regret dating your ex
because a life with regrets is not a life. Just appreciate the fact that
there are things you might not have learned about if it weren’t for your ex.
No comments:
Post a Comment