The Tingling Never Leaves Me

Whenever I read an article that has the words “Follow your dreams” or something similar to that phrase, my spine actually tingles. It’s as if I feel those words meaning directly being absorbed by my whole being. I feel as if those words were directly spoken to me and as if those words will forever haunt me if I did not take it seriously. The truth is I have no concrete plan really, about what I want to do in the future. I guess I want to have some sort of success. Like, I want to be able to do something I love and be paid while doing it. In the simplest sense, I want to not worry about anything. I want to travel whenever I feel a calling for it. I want to go to my friends house which would probably be a three to four hour drive without worrying about the amount of time and resources the travel would require for me to get there. I want to spontaneously give gifts to complete strangers and not feel that they have to pay me back for that one act of kindness.

Do I have to have a concrete plan to accomplish this particular dream? I know the answer is definitely yes. But at age 28, I feel like time is running away from me. Yes, I have some sort of plan, but I still feel uneasy at times. Like I can’t wait to do something different and finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief because I am finally doing something that would lead me closer to that dream. I feel like a fish right now flailing around at shore, gasping for water, trying to find some sort of lifeline. But I know many would consider that being 28 is still young enough. But for me, it’s not. Being 28 makes me sit down and contemplate the future.

It’s just that, I can’t wait for that moment. That moment where every locked door becomes unlock and my path is so clear and bright that it hurts to look at it. I know I should be patient and that patience is a virtue. But I actually get scared everyday. But yes, I do know that, even if I’m scared and can’t wait to get there, all I can do is trust myself and be patient because it’s all I can ever really do right now.

Follow your dreams. The tingling never leaves me. So even if it’s the last thing I do, I will follow my dreams. I might not be any closer today to that dream, but my bones keep telling me to keep at it, so I will.